Today, I’m marrying the handsome fellow pictured above. I am so damn excited to be his wife.

This time Saturday, I’ll be a married woman.

Two and a half days to go.

I have a ridiculously beautiful dress.

We have awesome wine and a delicious menu planned.

I have the three best girls in the world standing by my side.

The people who care about us most will be there.

Whatever happens, happens.

There’s nothing I can do about it now.

I’m going to have an amazing wedding.

One of my fondest memories as a little girl is of being the flower girl in my Uncle Mark’s wedding. I was 7 or 8 at the time, and I remember a special shopping trip with my future Aunt Kelly for my dress and a special present -  a Cameo necklace, which I still have, before the wedding started. I had a little bouquet of flowers in a dark brown basket. I loved that little basket.

When Bill and I started planning our wedding, I was excited to include my own nieces in the ceremony. My little niece, Riley, was only 7 months old when we got engaged, but my older niece, Angelina, was 5, which is just about the perfect age for a flower girl.

When my family celebrated Christmas this year, Angelina requested a red dress to wear to the wedding. Somehow, I got her to agree to a ivory dress with a pink sash. My mom has been hard at work making those dresses these past few weeks. But, yesterday, I learned that one of those dresses won’t get worn.

My brother called yesterday morning with the news that his ex-girlfriend, Angelina’s mom, informed him that she’d be violating the legal visitation agreement and not allowing him to have his daughter for the weekend of my wedding. I’m so embarrassed at my reaction – I was at work and started sobbing hysterically, running out of the office saying something to the effect of, “Why is she ruining my wedding?”

The answer to that question is simple — she’s a lunatic.

My brother and his wife met with a lawyer today. There’s really nothing we can do. The wedding is in 9 days and he speculated that it could take as many as 45 to get in front of a judge. She’s made it clear that when my brother arrives to pick his daughter up that she will not be there.

I’m just heartbroken. I don’t feel like my day is going to be complete without my little sassy pants niece there. I’m worried that Angelina is being denied something that she was SO excited about. I’m worried that her little sister won’t want to walk down the aisle without her big sister there to show her how to do it.  And, most of all, I’m sad that she has a mother that uses her child as a pawn to hurt other people.

I have a lot of things I’d like to say to my niece’s mother. None of them are nice. So, I’m going to leave it at this…

I hope one day your daughter forgives you for this, because I never will.

(I love you, Sissy…more than you will ever know. Auntie is going to try hard to make this up to you. None of this is your fault.)

At some point during the weekend, Level Headed and Rational Rhiannon vacated the premises and Lupron Rhi (without the hot flashes) showed up. I’m a weepy, blubbery mess and I really cannot stand it.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I want to be married to Bill yesterday. But, this wedding? It is killing me. One the one hand, I’ve never felt so loved in my entire life. But, on the other hand, I’ve never felt so rejected in my entire life.

I wish I could say more about this, but I just don’t have the words right now.

You guys, I am getting married in 23 days. Posting has been light around here as of late (oh, fine, it’s always light) because I’ve taken up obsessive list-making and calorie-counting. For as much as we’ve gotten done, there’s still SO MUCH to do.

One of the biggest things we need to do involves GUEST LIST and escort cards and seating arrangements and let me tell you something. It is VERY HARD to complete these tasks when people are not returning their response cards. How hard is it to write your name on a card, check a box, write a number and then place said card into a pre-stamped envelope? VERY HARD, APPARENTLY.

We still owe the dj our song list, which was due 7 days ago. It is missing one song, the mother-son dance song, and I will be picking a song out for them myself this afternoon if someone does not make a decision soon.

I have NO IDEA what I’m going to wear on my ears. I’m about to panic buy these lovelies from J.Crew, even though my mother says that I should not wear pearls next to my face (whatever, mom). But, I’ve also been admiring these from Etsy.

This evening,  my daring friend Kerri Anne accompanied me to Happy Hour (which we do all the time, and we’re exceptional at it) and also to shop for pretty underthings. We went to a fashion show at Hotel deLuxe a few weeks ago, which included a few items from oh Baby and oh my, do they ever have pretty things. She is excellent for moral support and I’m happy to report that we procured wedding dress underthings and wedding night underthings in under 30 minutes.

I learned last night from my FAB wedding planner that tapered candles are not allowed at my venue (really, really don’t remember this ever being mentioned), which means that we have roughly $300 worth of candles and candlesticks to return. It also means that we don’t have centerpieces for half the tables. Any chic, non-floral centerpiece ideas are welcome (the other half of the tables will have flowers).

And, with that…I’m off to make another list.