Today was hard, not harder than the past couple weeks, but hard.

I should be happy, I am with an amazing man, we’ve just bought the home of our dreams, and really, I am doing well.

But, the problem is, I feel overcome with an unbelieveable sense of something in my heart. I don’t know what it is.

Ever since I was laid off in April, and subsequently took the job at Company B, something has been missing. I LOVED my job at Company A. LOVED IT. I did things, I produced results – I could draw a line between revenue and programs that I ran. But, I understood – it’s business – Company A didn’t need me anymore. Sad? Sure! I hated it! Miss them – Absolutely!! Would I go back – DUH! But, here, I am offered this contract position at B, just a few days after I left A, that was all sunshine and lollipops – I travel! I eat! I drink fancy wines! Sounds fabulous right? Yeah…Not so much. I felt like I used to, well, it really sounds obnoxious to say make a difference. But, I used to have a say about what went on. I could decide if we placed banner ads on option A or option B. But, now, I only get to decide, NOTHING. That is right – nothing… I am SO proud of where I have gone in my career, but, where I am? Not so proud!

Anyway, not sure what I am saying here, but needed to get some stuff off my chest.

And, just to let you all know. I am not getting paid regularly, nor am I getting reimbursed timely for $1635.35 in travel expenses.

- frustrated rhi