Today was a beautiful sunny day in Portland. Real sunshine too, not our normal liquid kind. But, I, for some reason am melancholy. I think it’s because of this: there’s nothing I like better to do on a sunny day than go sit outside at a restaurant with some friends and have a salty, icy, margarita. But, there’s nobody here to do that with right now. The girlfriend that I’d most like to do this with lives in Atlanta, and all my other girlfriends have moved out to the suburbs (um, ick). And, currently, Zane is traveling. So, straight home for me.

I don’t know why, but, for some reason the nice weather seems to remind me of my insecurities. I’ve gained weight. I am having a bad hair day, I haven’t had my eyebrows waxed in months, my clothes aren’t that cute. And, the list goes on. I think if it were rainy, I’d be fine with coming straight home and curling up in my jammies with a book, but with the nice weather I want to be out and about. And, if I am out and about, I’m insecure.

Now, I am home and I’m just lonely.