This will be a short post today my dears, as I am experiencing Antibiotic Allergic Reaction #2, complete with swollen tongue and slurred speech! If you know me in real life, and need a laugh, I suggest you call me, because once you hear my voice, you’ll be rolling on the floor in a fit of laughter. I’ll be crying, because my doctor has placed me on the BRAT diet for some damn reason. So far, I’ve substitued a croissant for toast and a caramel apple spice from Starbucks for applesauce. Awesome! 

On to the recap:

Okay, okay. I GET IT. You love music. You play the clarinet. You sing opera. You play the piano. FANTASTIC. You know what, though? It’s freaking boring to watch.

My first concern is, that many of these girls have never heard of this program, The Bachelor. They don’t seem to realize that he is going to be interacting with MANY other girls. I’m talking to you, SHAYNE.  Shayne annoys me for several reasons. First of all, she calls herself an actress. Thank you SO MUCH She Likes Purple, for looking her up on IMDB. Red Bikini Girl? Really, sweetie?

Secondly, I’d like to send Ashlee to my orthodontist, her teeth remind me of Jewel’s teeth. I have been cursed in that I’ve had braces three times, so I’d like everyone to at least have them once. Secondly, I’m with She Likes Purple. The “I got a rose dance” is NOT the way to make friends with the other girls.

Lastly, I was really sad to see the Church Marketing Gal go, because I was hoping at one point she’d explain just what the heck church marketing is. I’d also like to take this opportunity to remind these girls that we DO NOT cry over boys we’ve known for 13 minutes as a result of a tv show. You have fallen in like with him, at best, and we do not cry over boys that we fall in like with. Especially if they’re dating 14 other women at the same time. That is all.

My picks:

Noelle

Amanda

Annoying the hell out of me (thus I refuse to link to them):

Marshana

Shayne

Ashlee