Friday, March 28th, 2008
Bad Luck Barbie
Yesterday, after I returned to from my second doctor’s appointment concerning my extremely swollen tongue, one of my coworkers said to me, “I’m going to go call my exorcist.” And, I laughed, well, I attempted to laugh. Laughing is hard when your tongue is the size of Texas.
But, lately? I feel like I’m Bad Luck Barbie. What? You’ve never heard of Bad Luck Barbie? Let me tell you a bit about her.
In the past month, the following has happened in Bad Luck Barbie’s Life:
- Bad Luck Barbie’s Grandma passed away
- Bad Luck Barbie and Commitment-Phobe Ken Broke Up
- Some asshat (let’s call her Skipper) hit Bad Luck Barbie’s Dream Car in the parking lot, causing nearly $8,000 worth of damage
- Bad Luck Barbie was diagnosed with a Sinus Infection.
- Doctor Barbie prescribed antibiotics to which Bad Luck Barbie developed an allergic reaction to.
- Doctor Barbie prescribed new antibiotics, which caused our Bad Luck Barbie to develop an Oral Yeast Infection
- But, Malpractice Doctor Ken did not even look in Bad Luck Barbie’s mouth when she went to see him on Wednesday, so he did not diagnose her with this. He told her to “WAIT IT OUT”
- So, Bad Luck Barbie sought the advice of Second Opinion Doctor Barbie on Thursday, when she awoke and could barely speak.
- Bad Luck Barbie’s friend, Carly, suggested that she brush her teeth with Monistat. But, you know what? That’s one piece of advice Bad Luck Barbie is going to go ahead and ignore.
- Now, all the money Bad Luck Barbie hoped to spend on a new frock to make her feel better was spent on copays and prescription medications. Most of which did not work.
So, currently, Bad Luck Barbie’s tongue doesn’t hurt quite as bad, but she’s still having some trouble speaking. She’s also wearing these shoes, even though it is snowing in BarbieTown today.
Tonight, Bad Luck Barbie will be attending a soiree with BarbieTown’s best and brightest young professionals, but, she’ll need to bring her interpreter, Ashleigh, with her, because of the slurring.
Please send Bad Luck Barbie some good karma, so that maybe, just maybe, she can turn into Good Luck Barbie. Or, maybe even Average Luck Barbie.
Comments on this post
sounds like skipper needs to be paid a visit by baseball bat barbie.
is Skipper’s insurance paying for that?
28. March - 10:13 amOh man! Don’t you just hate it when it seems like the whole world is ganging up on you?
Try this – stand up, put your hands on your hips and start singing…
The sun’ll come out…tomorrow,
28. March - 11:39 amBet your bottom dollar that tomorrow
There’ll be sun.
Just thinking about…tomorrow,
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow.
‘Til there’s none.
When I’m stuck with a day
That’s gray and lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And grin
And say….
Oh, the sun’ll come out…tomorrow,
So you got to hang on till tomorrow
Come what may.
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya, tomorrow,
You’re always a day away.
Even though crappy circumstances have been abundant in your life lately, this was still a really cute post.
Silly Carly! But maybe she’s right about the Monistat?? Ha ha!
28. March - 11:48 amMonistat?!
And dude, it just starting snowing here also. WTF?
28. March - 12:21 pmYou poor thing!
28. March - 2:01 pm“…suggested that she brush her teeth with Monistat.”
I had a good little belly laugh over that! (Not laughing about your tongue situation though.)
Believe it or not, I’d actually take more comfort out of that advice than simply “wait it out”. Talk about an easy way to burn a co-pay!
28. March - 8:55 pmI won’t try to make you laugh with any of several lame tongue-related remarks, and not just because you’ve already nailed the top spot with Monistat etc. But I do hope you continue to get better, with or without more co-pay expenses.
Although I will say – a veggie smoothie might be soothing and refreshing… :twisted:
29. March - 11:26 amHoly Crap … not good. Stay home and out of trouble!
29. March - 2:30 pmI hope Bad Luck Barbie is now Good Luck Barbie.
Or at least NOT BURIED IN SNOW BARBIE.
This snow is getting ridiculous!
31. March - 12:31 pmAnd I thought I was bad luck Barbie these days. You win!
31. March - 1:41 pm