Monday, June 30th, 2008
One Year Ago
One year ago today, I packed all my belongings into a big U-Haul truck and moved out of a beautiful 2,300 square foot home into a 540 square foot apartment. I left a house that I shared with someone who controlled me, belittled me, and made me feel like an awful person.
I spent weeks crying, sometimes at my desk, sometimes in the car. All the time at home. I lost 15 pounds. I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I took enough Xanax one night to probably kill me, but God was watching over me. My parents were scared to leave me alone.
I had forgotten who I was. I had forgotten that no man is every worth giving up your life for.
I know now who I am. I am smart. I am confident. I am fun to be around. I love to laugh, I love to be with my friends and family.
I don’t miss him one bit. If you had told me that I’d say this a year ago? I would have never believed you.
This year has been hard. I lost my Grandma, I’ve had health issues, I’ve been depressed.
But now? I’ve never been happier. And, I like who I am.
Comments on this post
Good for you!
30. June - 9:13 amI’m so glad you feel happy! Yay!
30. June - 9:15 am…and who you are is awesome. I am so lucky to know you!
and to think at all started with an apron!! :-)
30. June - 9:15 amGood for you! Sometimes it is hard to see why things happen and the good that is supposed to come out of it!
30. June - 9:21 amThat wasn’t a REAl man.
Glad you left that situation.
30. June - 9:40 amCongratulations!
30. June - 10:42 amI think your readers couldn’t be happier for you.
30. June - 11:14 amI like you too! :)
30. June - 12:00 pmYou are so fantastic. Seriously. Here’s to the end of all parasitic relationships, amen.
30. June - 12:03 pmCongrats to you. And I am also a non-eater when I am upset. I lost 10 pounds in about 10 days over a boy once.
30. June - 1:03 pmHoney, I could take a few lessons from you. I’m living with a bipolar husband who is the most controlling and angry person I’ve ever met. But then he’s not. And I never know who he’ll be when he wakes up. I know much of his problems are not his fault, but at the same time, I am beginning to lose sight of who I am.
Perhaps a year from now I’ll have a success story like yours. At least I have hope. Congrats to you – you have much to be proud of.
30. June - 2:11 pmWhao, what a difference one year make. God does make all things beautiful in his time. You Rock Rhi, seriously, you do!
30. June - 4:39 pm(STANDING UP APPLAUDING) You go girl! Keep on keepin’ on.
30. June - 5:59 pmI echo Aimee’s comment–I like you too! So much to be proud of and so many fun things to look forward to ahead! Strength is something that can never be taken away and it sounds like you’ve found it, woo hoo!
30. June - 6:16 pmGOOD FOR YOU, friend.
I cannot wait to meet you!
30. June - 6:47 pmIf I knew you a year ago, I would’ve kicked your old dude’s ass for you. I’m nice like that.
30. June - 8:31 pmWe had similar journeys this past year. Leaving horrible relationships, losing grandmothers, feeling like we wouldn’t make it through.
I’m glad we did. You are doing AWESOME and I love reading about your new life being all single and free. Go ahead! I hope we both keep finding joy.
1. July - 7:07 amHi Gumdrop! I’m so proud of you, and so proud of your post. As they say, “You’ve come a long way, baby!”
1. July - 1:46 pm:-) … awesome! Even though I’m a relatively new reader … I’m still proud of you.
8. July - 3:49 pmSince it’s my first time here, I feel like I should preface with how I got here & why I am posting on a month-old post. I found your blog from the Thirty-Something Bloggers site (I actually left a comment on your page there like a million years ago) and I popped your feed into my Google Reader, fully intending to check out your blog. One thing led to another, got way behind on the Google Reader & I am just now catching up on some blogs. Ok, that being established, I don’t normally comment on old posts, but I had to here. Two years ago the end of August, I packed up, left a nice new house & moved into an apartment for the same reason. I never looked back. It’s been hard. And sometimes terrifying. But I never regret it, even for a second.
29. July - 9:12 amgood for you…i came here through Dawn and since i knew she was in a similar situation and she did so well with it good for you and enjoy being you again.
29. July - 11:59 am