Dude. I went home feeling like a dumb shit last night for not having read many of the very important books on yesterday’s book list. Even though I did read one en francais, it was only because a French woman forced me to. But, you know what? I read enough, a lot even. So, I’ve come up with a partial list for the rest of us, and of course I’ve read most of them – IT’S MY LIST. But, to really make this fair, I’d like your suggestions too? What should be on this list?

Rhiannon’s List of Must Read Books for the Twenty or Thirty-Something Career Girl With an Active Social Life and Reality TV to Watch

1. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Rebecca Wells
2. East of Eden, John Steinbeck
3. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, David Sedaris
4. The New Kings of Nonfiction, Ira Glass
5. Lulu Meets God and Doubts Him, Danielle Ganek
6. White Teeth, Zadie Smith
7. Then We Came to the End, Joshua Ferris
8. Prodigal Summer, Barbara Kinglosver
9. The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd
10. A Girl Named Zippy, Haven Kimmel
11. Welcome to the World, Baby Girl!, Fannie Flagg
12. Ella Minnow Pea: A Novel in Letters, Mark Dunn
13. Stupid and Contagious, Caprice Crane
14. Running with Scissors, Augusten Burroughs
15. Bitter is the New Black, Jen Lancaster
16. Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, Lois P. Frankel (seriously. good book)
17. I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies), Laurie Notaro
18. Running in Heels, Anna Maxted
19. She’s Come Undone, Wally Lamb
20. Sushi for Beginners, Marian Keyes
21. Jemima J, Jane Green
22. Something Borrowed, Emily Giffin
23. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
24. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Betty Smith
25. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, Judy Blume (Shut up, this is a VERY IMPORTANT BOOK)
26. The Gift of Fear, Gavin De Becker
27. Emma, Jane Austen
28. The Hours,  Michael Cunningham
29. Mrs. Dalloway, Virginia Woolf
30. The Romance Reader, Pearl Abraham
31. Twilight, Stephenie Meyer (you’re welcome, Isabel)
32. Blink, Malcolm Gladwell
33. Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, Lynne Truss (I have a copy at home AND at work)
34. A People’s History of the United States, Howard Zinn
35. Manufacturing Consent, Noam Chomsky (I read this as part of my Media Major in college, AMAZING BOOK)
36. Swell: A Girl’s Guide to the Good Life, Ilene Rosenzweig
37. I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence, Amy Sedaris (you NEED TO KNOW what to prepare a Lumberjack for breakfast, should you ever meet a lumberjack)
38. Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism, and the Future, Jennifer Baumgardner (also whoever I lent this to, I’d like it back now, thanks)
39. The Official Guide for GMAT Review (only because then you can tell me what it says in there, I’ve been reading this book for 6 years now)
40. Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search…, Elizabeth Gilbert
41. Bloodsucking Fiends, Christopher Moore
42. The World According to Mimi Smartypants, Mimi Smartypants
43. The Girls’ Guide to Hunting and Fishing, Melissa Bank
44. Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life, Barbara Kingsolver
45. Middlesex, Jeffrey Eugenides
46. The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan
47. The Singing Creek where the Willows Grow, Opal Stanley Whitely (just read it, then thank me, it’s GOOD)
48. I Am America (And So Can You), Stephen Colbert (because you will laugh, and laugh)
49. No One Belongs Here More Than You: Stories, Miranda July
50. Shopgirl, Steve Martin

Okay, my dears. Your turn. Do you agree with me? What am I missing? Let’s finish this list!

Sooo. I have nothing today. Really. All I can think about is $1.50 Cheesecake and why isn’t it time for lunch already. So, I’ve stolen this idea from the lovely She Likes Purple.

Now, I spent the majority of my pre-teen and teen years with my nose in a book. My dad would bring me to Powell’s on his weekends with me where he allowed me to pick 5 books, and typically, I would have those 5 books read by the time he delivered me back home on Sunday. After I had read, seriously, EVERYTHING in the young adult section, he moved me on to literature, and that is when I read most of these books. These days, I only have time for trash and Marketing Management Magazine. Sadly.

Key

• Bold the books you have already read
• Italicize the books you intend to read
• My commentary in parenthenses. You know I can never shut my mouth.

***********************

1. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte 
4. Harry Potter series by J. K. Rowling (no desire, none at all)
5. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (I still have my marked up copy from the 7th Grade)
6. The Bible
7. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four by George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
11. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien
17. Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch by George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell  (I own the movie, I feel like I should get a 1/2 point for that)
22. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House by Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis
34. Emma by Jane Austen
35. Persuasion by Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe by CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis De Bernieres
39. Memories of a Geisha by Arthur Golden (again, movie)
40. Winnie the Pooh by AA Milne
41. Animal Farm by George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown (also, no desire)
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney by John Irving
45. The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables by LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
50. Atonement by Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
52. Dune by Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
62. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History by Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold  (already on my book shelf)
65. Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road by Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones’s Diary by Helen Fielding
69. Midnight’s Children by Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick by Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
72. Dracula by Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island by Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses by James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal by Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession by AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte’s Web by EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom (what is this doing on this list?)
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection by Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks
94. Watership Down by Richard Adams (also, on my book shelf)
95. A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet by William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo (am taking 40 extra points for this because I read it en francais)

My score: 22 + the 40 bonus points I gave myself = 62. I clearly deserve some sort of prize

On December 10th, 1978 a bouncing baby girl was born. Her parents were thrilled that she had ten fingers, ten toes, and absolutely zero hair on her head. What they didn’t notice, because they really rarely do check this at birth, is that her mouth? It had no filter.

As this bouncing baby girl grew up, she finally grew some hair, she became very very tall. And, she spent the majority of her teen years grounded from the phone. Or, worse yet, grounded from her best friend. Now, this girl wasn’t sneaking out, or skipping school (well, she was, but that was NOT why she was grounded). This girl, you see, had NO FILTER ON HER MOUTH.

It was all about the back talk.

And, I have a secret to tell you. That little girl? It’s me. And, I still have no filter.

To wit:

A recent argument between my mother and I:

Her: You are not a nice person

Me: You raised me.

Her: SOB!!!

Text Messages between Friend Who Shall Remain Nameless (FWSRN):

FWSRN: You’re with my sister?

Me: Yes, and we’re talking about you!

FWSRN: My feelings are hurt.

Me: We’re not really talking about you! I was kidding!

Here’s the deal: If you ask me if those pants look good on you, and they don’t? I’ll tell you. If you ask me if you should break up with your boyfriend and he’s a tool? I’ll tell you. So, if you don’t want to hear what I really think? Don’t ask me.

But, what comes along with that is, if you really do look pretty today? I’ll be the first to tell you. And, if I think you’re dating a great guy and you should hang on to him? I’ll tell you that, too.

You should just know that about me, that is all.