Monday, March 23rd, 2009
This is an unpopular opinion, I know
Okay, seriously. Are you freaking kidding me with the Twilight movie?
I tried, you guys, I TRIED. My dear Carrisa sent me the first Twilight book right before my surgery last summer (note: many people will give you gifts if you have surgery, not that gifts are a reason to have surgery). Anyway, it took me four months to read this book. FOUR MONTHS. Now, I’ve been known to finish a book on a 3 hour flight, so, this is very unlike me.
Anyway, it’s not that I hated the book. I liked the story line. And, I actually like vampires. Well, I prefer zombies. But, this lady? She cannot write her way out of a paper bag. It took massive amounts of willpower to not grab my red pen and copy edit the hell out of that book. In November, I began the second book on a flight home from Rhode Island. I haven’t picked it up since I returned home. I just can’t do it.
I suppose it’s no surprise then how ridiculous I found the movie to be. The boy and I decided to watch it last night after a fun day of cooking (roast chicken and French green lentils, if you’re curious). On several occasions, I grabbed the remote, pressed pause, and said, “Are you freaking kidding me?” (although I may have used a different word in place of ‘freaking’).
So, my thoughts, in bullet form, of course:
- Now, I know Dr. Cullen is supposed to be young, but I think they could have PERHAPS found an actor who at least looks to be in his 40s.
- You know what Edward’s sparkling skin reminds me of? It reminds me of this one time, when I was in my early twenties, and we all decided it would be a great idea to buy body glitter at Frederick’s of Hollywood. Glow in the dark body glitter, mind you. I bought purple. They must not have had pink.
- I was really considering buying a Volvo C30. I can no longer do this as I don’t want to be the girl who bought the car that was in Twilight. I’ll have to trade my vandalized car in for something else.
- I didn’t find the vampires to be all that pale. I mean, have you seen me? I’m really freaking pale. Also, when my lips are chapped, they get that red.
So, there you have it. I think the movie was terrible. My $5 was not entirely wasted (although, seriously Comcast? $5?), as it was fun to see my beautiful state in the movie. But, I can say with confidence, I will not be watching this movie again. Ever. As for the book, I’m going to read several intelligent books (currently, The Wordy Shipmates) and then try to pick it up again, perhaps with my red pen in hand.
Disclaimer: I know a lot of people LOVE these books. I’m not insulting you. I wanted to love them. It just didn’t work out that way. You can go on loving these books, and I’ll go on making fun of them. Okay?
Comments on this post
I read the first book, Twilight, but couldn’t get past the first chapter of the second book. While I did enjoy Twilight, although it took me FOREVER to read it, I disliked the movie. I was very disappointed and I won’t be seeing it a second time.
jennifer (prayedforone)’s last blog post..It’s Going To Be A Balancing Act
23. March - 7:21 pmI forgive you. We can move past this and it totally doesn’t have to affect our friendship at all. Now tell me more about these French lentils. I don’t think I’ve ever had a lentil before.
Carrisa’s last blog post..mondays should be outlawed
23. March - 7:25 pmI may enjoy the movie (for reasons we’ve already discussed), but I red penned the poo out of all four of the books I read. If not physically (which I did in places) then mentally. And honestly, I thought they got worse as they went along, story-line wise. But the way she wrote Forks, the place, I really really enjoyed, because I spent many a childhood spring break and summer in that area with my family. But again, you already know what I think and I’ve already written about it, so I’ll refrain from re-writing my Twilight loving love here.
Kerri Anne’s last blog post..What’s A Bogey Lowenstein?
23. March - 7:31 pmI cannot bring myself to read the books so the movie is definitely not on my list.
sizzle’s last blog post..That About Sums It Up
23. March - 7:42 pmYeah, I haven’t ready any of that crap, and I don’t plan to. Thank you for reassuring me that my decision to remain strong is the right one!
slynnro’s last blog post..What Happens When Losers Go to the Grocery Store on Saturday Night.
23. March - 7:53 pmI have not read the books, nor seen the movie. Twilight haters unite!
Angella’s last blog post..Use Your Noggin
23. March - 8:02 pmI figured out the secret of Twilight. I saw the movie first, so I didn’t have any preconceived notions of the characters from the book to ruin it. Was it laughable, particularly the big “action” scene? Yes, but there was enough eye candy that I enjoyed it and bought the DVD anyway.
I read the books after watching the movie, so I picture the movie characters when I read, so I am happy. Its not epic writing, or epic cinematography, but between the eye candy and the story line, I am a Twilight fan. :)
The Grown Up Teenager’s last blog post.."You’re next!"
23. March - 8:27 pmOh man, I saw the movie again recently and just couldn’t stop rolling my eyes. It gets worse on repeat viewings so I suggest you don’t rewatch. :)
Janssen’s last blog post..Scar Shoulder
24. March - 3:29 amI read the first two books but it took me forever (in fact I’m still part way through the epiloguq of the second and it’s been over a month). I’m not terribly impressed. I tried to be. I didn’t care much for her writing “style.” Anyway, I am finally going to watch the movie this week! I don’t have high expectations but I’m going to watch it anyway…
24. March - 3:37 amGASP!!
A girl after my own heart!!
Come…come…sit next to me… lets talk more about how much we can’t stand the book/movie! You know you want to!
One Scrappy Gal’s last blog post..Totally random…
24. March - 4:31 amTHANK YOU!!!!
Oh how I loathe Twilight. I also have a theory about the sort of person who gets into Twilight, but I will keep that opinion to myself.
Just go to any Twilight sale (I stumbled into one unknowingly at Wal Mart the night the movie came out) look around and I think you’ll know what I’m talking about.
Maybe it’s all those feminist readings I have done for my minor, but I require my female leads to be less of a helpless, annoying dolt.
The only way I would watch that movie is if I had some shot glasses, bourbon and a print out of Metalia’s Twilight Drinking Game.
24. March - 5:43 amYou are brave. Very brave.
(And, we can still be friends.)
Isabel’s last blog post..In which fake mustaches can make everything better
24. March - 6:49 amAmen and Amen! I tried reading Twilight…and I got through the first half and threw it across the room, where it still sits in a pile of dust bunnies. Ok, maybe that last part about dust bunnies isn’t true.
Thank you for braving this!
xox
heidikins’s last blog post..
24. March - 7:27 amHaven’t read them either. Too nervous. Gems like the Harry Potter only come along once in a century. I knew Twilight was too good to be true.
Kaleigha’s last blog post..An explanation of my adoration…
24. March - 8:10 amI thought I was the only one. THANK GOODNESS I AM NOT.
jcristg’s last blog post..all the grace in the world
24. March - 8:43 amI got through the first book, but just barely. It was mostly because I was stuck on an airplane and USAir has discontinued movies. If I had had something else to read I would have stopped. There’s not a chance in hell I’ll be watching the movie.
Nic’s last blog post..Yet another work trip.
24. March - 8:46 ami don’t think you could anyone to tell you meyer is a great writer. hell, even a good writer. but, that shit sucks you in. and robert pattinson. HOLY SHIT…i’m sorry, but dude IS sex.
ali’s last blog post..I AM red cross certified, you know…
24. March - 8:47 amsacrilege! i so agree with ali, though. i don’t think you could honestly say meyer is the best writer ever (and i totally hated on the books before i read them) but she just sucks you in. and even as i was reading and saying “no freaking way” i was still, the whole time, thinking, “OMG I WISH EDWARD CULLEN COULD HAPPEN TO ME.” yea, i’m a yuppie.
kristin’s last blog post..sometimes i dance.
24. March - 9:03 amI’m a new visitor to your blog…but I love it! And I just wanted to say that most people I’ve talked to that haven’t read the book first have enjoyed the movie more. (Including myself…kind of ashamed to say this as a girl well past her teen lusting after movie stars age…). Anyways, I’ve thought about reading the books but now that I’ve already watched the movie, I just don’t think it would be the same…
Jillian’s last blog post..THE SCOOP: This is all I’ve got today
24. March - 9:29 amGood for you! Go against the grain! Stand strong!
Also: You’re wrong.
Heh. Seriously, though, I just picked up Wordy Shipmates too. Reading that after Twilight is like eating the most perfect organic salad with artisan cheese and heavenly homemade dressing after gorging on McDonalds.
Moose’s last blog post..Last of the Bile, Promise
24. March - 11:55 amConfession: I also HATED those books. I couldn’t get over how pathetic Bella was with all her insecurities.
Mojito Maven’s last blog post..He Strikes Again!
24. March - 12:55 pmWe must remember who the books and movie audience are. Tweens. Tweens. Tweens.
Nuff said.
24. March - 2:08 pmI’ve never wanted to read these books, or see the movie. I just don’t get it. My coworker read the books and said they were all crap, that the writing was terrible. I love my Harry Potter books, but can’t bring myself to read Twilight.
Kristin’s last blog post..My house is haunted
24. March - 2:43 pmI read them out of curiosity, liked them ok (remembering they were aimed at tweens), and even saw the movie (which was ho-hum). My indifference excludes me from the Twilight fanatics as done my voting Team Jacob if forced to choose.
Kate’s last blog post..Midnight Intruder
24. March - 3:28 pmOh, I love the books and I totally agree with you. Stephanie Meyer is a crappy writer. But I got past it because tweens don’t know this. And also, I got sucked into the story. Because OMG EDWARD! I want an Edward!
The movie was very mockable. And apparently on the DVD, the commentary with my boyfriend R Pattz is HIGH-larious because even he knows it is bad.
But I will admit that before the movie I was all “Robert Pattinson, Schrobert Pattinson.” And then when EDWARD came on the screen the first time, I melted into a puddle in the theatre. He’s SO Edward. Mmmm….
Kristabella’s last blog post..Bacon Thinks Stupid People Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Google
25. March - 8:38 ami haven’t read the books or seen the movie. i plan to stay strong in my hold out.
gorillabuns’s last blog post..car shopping
26. March - 5:37 pmWhen ever people ask me if they should read Twilight I tell them yes, but give them a huge warning that Meyers is an awful writer. And I also feel compelled to tell people that she’s Mormon, which I think explains some of the books weird quirks.
And Pattinson is hot. Like so hot I’m not sure I could control myself around him.
26. March - 6:58 pmI cannot get into them either. My 12yo daughter loved them and I rented the movie for her last night. This is a girl who cannot go upstairs alone and she is digging the vampire thing, go figure. I’m with you.
Kim’s last blog post..Reality Check
28. March - 8:22 amadmittedly the books were….difficult to get through, I sort of wanted the cliff notes. I loved the ‘idea’ of the story. I read all four book, but i have a problem with series..and needing to know how it ends already.
I actually loved the movie, which I didn’t think I would..but I think it was the sceneary and the music…also secretly I’ve always wanted to live in Forks…I know..that is probably the real reason. Also I used to work at the highschool in the film (actually in kalama)…I may be caught up in the brush with fame bit …a bit.
2. April - 7:48 pm