In just a little over a month, the boy and I are hopping on a plane for our first REAL vacation together. Sure, we’ve had our share of weekends away (my finger math tells me there has been 8 weekends away), but this one is an Actual Vacation.

Actual Vacation (noun): A trip of lasting longer than a weekend in which one has to take more than one vacation day.

So, in mid-September, we’ll leave Portland for San Diego where we’ll spend two days at the Hotel Del Coronado, a hotel I remember being featured often in the program Baywatch. I hope to not have the same experience as Nicole Eggert in  this episode, but just in case, I’ll bring a glossy print of David Hasselhoff with me to scare the ghost off. (Side note: how sad is it that when the boy asked me if I’d like to stay at this lovely, historic hotel, I said to him, “Oh, you mean the one that was haunted on Baywatch?”) ANYWAY, after our two days there, we’ll board a five-night cruise to Mexico. I’m fairly certain that we’ll not enjoy cruising, what with the whole ‘Newly Wed and Nearly Dead’ thing, but we’ll give it a try. If nothing else, I’ll get to hand the boy his rear end at mini-golf and shuffleboard a few times. Because I spend a fair amount of time reading travel related news stories, I know that squabbles happen on cruise ships, and sometimes these squabbles end up with someone going overboard. Because I do have QUITE the sassy mouth, I will be wearing a set of water wings whilst on the boat. (kidding, partially). I know Samantha Brown always goes on these fancy cruise ships and appears to have a great time, but let’s face it, Samantha Brown is nuts. Also, I like to think my palate is a bit more sophisticated than that of your average vacationer. I know all the food is free, you can eat all day, blah blah blah, but shrimp cocktail and filet mignon do NOT impress me. So, let’s hope there’s something decent for us to eat.

After the cruise, we’ll return to San Diego, this time staying at the lovely Kimpton in the Gaslamp. I hope we get a goldfish in our room and I hope her name is Marmalade (do you hear that, Kimpton?) Anyway, we’ll be going to a Dolphins-Chargers game, and then coming home. (Are you kidding me? Of course we are Dolphins Fans) So, ten days. Ten days!

To prepare for this vacation, I’ve done the following:

• bought six dresses
• bought 3 bikinis
• written my name on the vacation calendar at work, writing only, “Rhiannon – Vacation,” which shows GREAT self restraint because what I really wanted to write was, “Rhiannon – Vacation, Bitches!”
• lost six pounds (SUCK IT, LUPRON WEIGHT!)

So, I’m pretty much ready, right?

• I’m yet again looking for someone to come over here to type the words that I say. I started two posts this week and, by started I mean, typed the title. Then, I started speaking words into my computer until I realize I don’t have that speech to text thing. Shaking my fist at you, Apple! That shit should come standard for $1300!
• Things have been busy, oh so busy at work as of late. It’s all wonderful, because we’re working on really fun projects, but I’m really going to start petitioning for cots to be brought in around 1 p.m. I would gladly forgo my lunch in exchange for a little nap.
• Remember how last week is was in the 100s in Portland? Well, the high for today is 70. A whole 30 degrees cooler. Yesterday, I wore a winter dress to work and still froze half to death.
• I’m really not complaining, but I’m going to a Plate and Pitchfork dinner tomorrow night and I really wanted to wear a cute little sundress.
• Speaking of cute little sundresses, I should have this for my cruise, yes? Edited to add: I bought the dress, because Kaleigha MADE ME.
• I’m thinking about growing out my bangs. What do you think?
• OH, do you know that I went to a wedding last weekend and caught the bouquet? TRUE STORY.
• So, basically, I just sit back and wait to get engaged now, is that how it works?
• One last thing: I’ve not been on a run in over two weeks, but I STILL continue to lose weight. Clearly, I’ve invented another new diet. I’m not sure what to call this one, let me know if you have any ideas.
• That’s it, pretties! Enjoy your weekends!