There have been several times over the past few weeks that I’ve had to take a long hard look at myself and say, “Dear God Woman, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” On one of these occasions, I found myself sitting at my favorite wine bar barely able to lift the glass to my mouth because my arms hurt so badly. On another occasion, I found myself putting a raw chicken leg onto a crab trap.

Dearest readers, what has happened to me?

Adventure 1: Rafting the Deschutes

The girl, soaking wet

Mid-August, we packed up the Saab and headed to Central Oregon to enjoy a rafting trip that I had won earlier in the year at our annual tourism conference. After delicious food and wine, we went to bed in our cozy rental house and woke up way to early to join our guides. This day turned out to be the Best. Day. Ever and also an awesome upper body workout, but only on one arm because I sat on the same side of the boat for most of the day. Maybe it wasn’t my best idea to wear a white tank top, but I love the little ruffle at the shoulder and at least you can see my darling brown halter bikini underneath it. Also, I wore my new favorite hat. It’s my outdoors hat. Or, the hat I wear on Sundays when I don’t want to brush my hair.

The Verdict: I really love being on the water. I also love it when my arms hurt. (Weird) Let’s do something like this again.

Adventure Two: Scappoose Bay Kayaking

The girl, her arms about ready to fall off

The very next weekend, we decided to go kayaking. My boyfriend is a Super Star Kayaker. I say this because a) he’s cute b) he has his own sea kayak and c) this is my blog and I can say whatever I want. Also, he’s cute. I was ready to quit before we even left the house because you have to put the kayak on the TOP OF THE CAR and that thing is heavy. But, I was bribed with the promise of an Egg McMuffin, so off we went. Once we were in the water I was oh so very close to losing my shit within the first ten minutes. But, I am a big girl and not a quitter, so I kept on. For being such a good sport and not quitting or crying, I was rewarded with yummy, yummy dinner at Tabla. (So what if I’m motivated by food.) And, look! There’s my outdoors hat again! It shielded the sun from my ghost-like face and also kept the buggies out of my hair.

The Verdict: So much fun and I want my own kayak, so long as it’s pink.

Adventure Three: Crabbing

The girl, not dressed for the occasion

Just last weekend, we went to the Oregon Coast, to introduce our parents to each other (OMG). The boy had been telling me about this nonsense Crab Hawking for ages and ages. But, I’m an Outdoors Woman, now, so I was game. I secured my Very First Oregon Shellfish License and off we went. Yet again, I was motivated by food. But, this time it was the food we were going to make with our bounty! Crab Stuffed Piquillo Peppers! Corn and Crab Chowder! Well, we caught a MILLION crabs. A MILLION. But, they were all female, or tiny males. So, we kept nothin’. We drowned our sorrows over Rogue Beers and then went out for dinner that night. Boo. But, what I did notice midway through our crabbing adventure was that I matched perfectly. Grey pants, pink Dri-Fit top and PINK AND GREY TEVA TRAIL SHOES. Also, my outdoors hat, a J.Crew corduroy jacket and diamond earrings. What?

The verdict: I will not accept failure, so we shall do this again.

And, there you have it. I’ve no clue what’s happened to me. I’ve agreed to kayak yet again while we’re on vacation NEXT WEEK and after that, who knows? I assure you of this: I will look darling no matter what I do. And, chances are, I’ll be wearing my outdoors hat.

(oh, psst! go over here to learn about a great way to keep homeless families warm this winter)