Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010
Nobody Likes a Complainer
Most nights that Bill’s not staying the night, I fall asleep to a podcast. It drowns out the noise of the dog upstairs, the sirens outside and the next-door neighbor singing in the shower. A good night’s sleep means that I only hear five or ten minutes of the podcast. A bad night’s sleep means that I listen to two or three whole podcasts. Last week, I downloaded a new podcast because I had heard that Mayim Bialik was going to be on and I’m totally fascinated with her and her crunchy parenting (and because I really like the host, Teresa Strasser). Anyway, after I had already listened to Mayim talk about her potty trained infant (bad night’s sleep), I switched to another episode in which Melissa Rivers was being interviewed. Thank goodness I fell asleep quickly, but one of the things I did hear before drifting off to dreamland was Teresa asking Melissa if getting breast implants was painful. Here’s what stuck with me, Melissa said something to the effect of, “I picked to do that, it was elective. I don’t get to complain.”
And, honestly this week each time I’ve had a complaint about to leave my lips (or my fingertips), I’ve thought to myself, “Is this complaint related to a choice you’ve made?” Sure, planning a wedding is stressful. But, I chose to have a big formal wedding. My commute SUCKS, but I knew my office was in Salem when I accepted the job. I cannot get rid of that little bulge on my hip, but I put that tart in my mouth AND I also opted to stay home to watch RHOC rather than going to the gym.
Now, I’m not saying that just because we pick to do something we can’t complain about it. What I am saying is, nobody likes a complainer. And, I’m certainly not saying that I’m going to quit complaining, because if you know me, you know it’s MY SPECIALTY. But, there are far too many days when I login to Facebook or Twitter to see a big long line of complaints. It’s annoying, and I don’t want to be like that. I’d rather be known as a girl who rolls with the punches and has a positive outlook rather than a girl who complains about every damn thing that happens to her. So…join me, will you?
This is my new mantra, albeit a long one: Stop. Think. Then Complain, But Do So Knowing That You’re At Risk of Being THAT GIRL.
Comments on this post
I half-assed gave up making excuses for Lent, and I think I need to add this as a sub-Lensolution.
3. March - 11:23 amI am going to print this post out and tape it to my face.
Hugs
3. March - 11:26 am.-= Dots´s last blog ..This started out well…and then…aw, hell I don’t know. =-.
What a great thing to remember before complaining. I hope to remember it when I’m just about to complain too :)
3. March - 11:26 amThat is so perfect! Who knew Melissa Rivers of all people could be so wise!
I know I do this. YOU get to hear all about be complaining about my job, that I took, on my own.
But I think having perspective on your complaints is good. I’m all about realizing that I have a first world problem on my hand most times I complain.
3. March - 11:35 am.-= Kristabella´s last blog ..A Small Treat =-.
I love this. I work really hard not to use Facebook and Twitter (or really anything online) for complaining with any regularity. We all have bad days (of course!), but it starts to read and feel really negative when it’s anyone’s go-to status update.
(Speaking of complaining, thanks for letting ME vent last night and then cracking me up with images of a shirtless Mark Wahlberg. You’re the best!)
3. March - 12:06 pm.-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..My Heart Is A Nautical-Themed Pashmina Afghan =-.
I love this post. It is sooo true.
3. March - 12:13 pm.-= amber´s last blog ..April 14, 2005, 3 am =-.
Today, I read this great post over at Moose in the Kitchen, but this line struck me down flat: “None of this Cynicism Is Interesting bullshit. When applied correctly, cynicism has its place. But happiness is a much better plan in the long run.” Oh, I love that. It’s my new life mantra.
3. March - 12:14 pmSo I feel like I do have something to complain about (getting laid off), but I also know that my allotted time for that is limited – because if I dwell on something I can’t change, then I can’t move forward.
But for other things? Thank you for reminding me that many things we want to complain about are the result of our own decisions. I’m definitely going to take that attitude with me to my next job.
3. March - 12:21 pm.-= Darcey´s last blog ..Happy Valentine’s Day =-.
Great post!
3. March - 12:22 pmI too noticed all too often that a lot of facebook updates are pointless complaining. It does get annoying after a while. I rarely update mine for this very reason.
I like that motto. I think that’s the type of complainer I aspire to become. Complaining is also my specialty, you see. Not one of my more charming traits, but I have a very patient and forgiving boyfriend so it’s okay.
3. March - 12:36 pmI love this. Such a great way to look at things.
Ah wisdom from the mouth of Ms. Rivers.
3. March - 12:36 pm.-= Kali´s last blog ..OOTD (03.02.10) A little Midas in my life. =-.
Great post, Rhi. SO many people spend all day whining and complaining (NOT YOU) and it’s exhausting to read. It’s OK once in awhile, but is your (their) life really THAT BAD?
3. March - 12:59 pm.-= Angella´s last blog ..Color Me Happy =-.
I like your new mantra a lot. :-)
3. March - 1:26 pm.-= bethany actually´s last blog ..not quite our house yet, but it will be tomorrow =-.
I love it. I have gotten into the habit of complaining during the last two years. Frankly, it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even like myself very much sometimes. I may just have to adopt this myself.
3. March - 2:06 pmHi! I don’t think I’ve ever commented – but I live in Portland and read your blog (pleasedtomeetyou).
I couldn’t NOT comment on this because I think that this is a part of my basic fiber. I love what you’ve said here! The biggest reason I’ve had for ending friendships or being pushed past the point of potential empathy (which is actually one of my strengths (no really, I swear)) is that I lose patience quickly when people are complainy about the results of their own choices. For some reason, I just cannot handle it when people go on for days complaining about things which are directly resulting from their decisions (“my rent is too high.” or “I’m so busy I don’t have time for all the things I’ve signed up for.”). Drives me nuts.
3. March - 4:19 pmI kind of like a complainer. Just a little. But point well made.
3. March - 7:03 pm.-= slynnro´s last blog ..Speaking of Gender Identity. =-.
I wrote down your quote “Is this complaint related to a choice I’ve made?” and will carry it with me. Wonderful post!
4. March - 2:58 pmHey Rhi
Thanks for stopping by my blog. This is a *really good* reminder to be cognizant of what we put out in the world. I often gripe about work, but ya know what? It’s my choice to be there, and, though its not perfect, it pays my bills, gives me a sense of giving back to society.
Great post!
5. March - 5:25 am.-= Hänni´s last blog ..HANNIHAUS GIVEAWAY *BLIK CLASSIC CHAIR BACK DECALS* =-.
I love it. What a great way to think about it.
7. March - 1:30 pmWell said. Proof that sometimes wisdom comes from strange sources. Your thoughts really resonate with me today!
5. April - 7:41 pm