A few weeks ago, I was totally annoyed by this and also this. Mostly, about the coat stealing teacher rather than the boob bearing OSU student.

But? This week, Oregon has done me proud.

First of all – I beg to differ with the study that found drivers in Portland among the nicest in the nation. But, whatever, we’ll take what we can get.

Next up, today kicks off the 2nd Largest UFO Festival (quite frankly, I am too busy drinking beer to have paid attention to whether the local news said this was in the nation, or the world, but, please know, it’s the 2nd largest of SOMEWHERE) in McMinnville at my very very favorite brewery McMenamins. I really could give two shits about UFOs, but, I enjoy the tacky, and I’m sure you’ll agree that the UFOs are TACKY.

I feel like there was something else. But, I cannot for the life of me remember. But, please know, it is 7 o’clock on Friday night, I am sitting on the couch knitting and swilling seasonal beer (YUM!) and Zane is asleep. I see a crazy night ahead of us, don’t you?

I GOT MY BRACES OFF TODAY!

WHEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

The lovely and delightful Carrisa has interviewed me!

1. If you could go back in time to your 16 yr old self, what is the one piece of advice you would give Lil Rhi?

I would tell her to work harder in school. Then she would have gotten better grades and, hopefully, more scholarships to college (I got one). Then, I wouldn’t be paying so damn much in student loans. Also, be nicer. You were kind of mean.

2. If you could appear on any (current) tv show as a new cast member, what show would you pick? And tell us about your character.

Hmmm, you really ask the tough questions Carrisa! I think I’d want to be a character on Ugly Betty. I’d be beautiful, and well dressed, of course working at Mode. But, I’d be nice and be Betty’s best friend.

3. You rub a special genies lamp and are granted the ability to:
a) play the guitar, fly, and speak German.
b) see into the future, juggle, and design clothing
c) always maintain your ideal weight(no substitutions. pick a, b, or c.)

Definitely B. Because I would be able to look into the future to see the fashions, and design them and become rich and famous. Plus, everyone loves juggling!

4. For a million dollars, would you rather? Go a year without wearing underwear (panties) or Go a year without eating meat?

I do not think I could give up meat. So, by default, I have to say a year without panties.

5. It’s your wedding day. Everything is perfect except the bakery where you ordered your cake was destroyed in a fire the night before your wedding. You’re in a crunch. You can’t have your dream cake and must replace it with something else. What will it be?

This is easy, I am really not a fan of cake, so I’d just get pies. Many many pies. Of marionberry and strawberry rhubarb. What? My guests don’t like pie? More for me!!

That was fun! If you’d like me to interview you, let me know in the comments!

It’s a good idea to label those darling spice containers you bought at Crate & Barrel, because, otherwise, you might mistake cayenne pepper for paprika. And, then, the casserole you’ve been craving all day wouldn’t taste as good.

Did you all watch The Bachelor last night? I did not…but I watched it this morning. HA HA!

This episode is down to four women, and throughout the episode, Chris promised “THE MOST EMOTIONAL ROSE CEREMONY EVER!!!” So, you know I was excited. Everyone knows that when it’s down to four, it means that it’s time for the hometown dates.

First, off to visit Bevin’s family in Seattle. You may remember, not too long ago, I had my money on Bevin. Now, not so much. She really, really, really bothers me. First of all, I think we all agree that Andy is a huge tool, but I even I do not wish him to be with someone so obnoxious. Anyway, she spilled the beans that “as a teenager” she got married against the wishes of her parents. Quick Question Bevin – when you say teenager, do you mean 18? Cause if you got married against the wishes of your parents, that would make you 18, which makes you an ADULT, so stop pretending you were a child. Okay, enough of that. Oh, but one more question – the painting that her mother gave the both of them? Who will get it when she gets the boot?

Next, we visit Danielle’s family in Conneticut. Uneventful, I believe, but how many of you are sick of hearing about her dead boyfriend? Call me cold, but I sure am.

Now, for my favorite, Tessa!! We’re off to meet Tessa’s family in Washington D.C. I still cannot believe that she also doesn’t live in Portland, like my girl Meredith, because I believe them to be twins. But, anyway. I’d first like to point out how lovely Meredith, I mean Tessa’s parents’ house is. Really. Next, I loved how un-toolish Andy seemed when he offered to help with the dishes. But, he was very tool-like in dodging the questions of her best friend and sister.

And, lastly, on to Texas to visit with Amber. The main point of this visit is that we learn that she has an unsupportive family and also that she’s practically a toddler at 23. Nothing shocks me about this visit, not even that her roommate is super annoying and her dog is ugly.

Now – after this visit, although I really wanted Bevin to get the boot, it was quite clear to me that Amber would be going home. She’s just way too young. So, the rose ceremony comes, and low and behold, no rose for Amber. My favorite thing ever was her little speech in the limo. ” I can imagine getting up and fixing breakfast for us, and then going to work, because we go to work at the EXACT SAME TIME!” That is exactly what lasting relationships are built on you know, people who do not go to work at the exact same time don’t last. It is as simple as that.

And, that is that. I cannot wait for next week!!