Quite some time ago, I heard a segment on NPR about Vocation Vacations. A vocation vacation is this cool program that allows you to “try out” your dream job. I got to thinking about this again when Bethany and Heather both commented on my Working Girl post that they had been Library Pages. You see, I am fascinated by the library. I love that things are so in order, I love that there is a place for everything, and I love that there is a definite process at a library.

I am not sure when my fascination with libraries began, I think it may have been around the time I took Library Science 101 at UofO.  This class was designed to prepare Journalism students for the dreaded J202 – Information Gathering (nicknamed Info Hell). The class project for Info Hell was a two-hundred some page paper. So, yeah, you needed to know how to use the library. The class was only worth one or two credits and was only once a week, but I LOVED it. My love for it paid off, because it was the first college course in which I earned an A.

So, I began to wonder, if I were to take vocation vacation, would I do it in a library? Would I bag my big plans for a Masters in Strategic Communication in exchange for a Masters in Library Science?

And, does it has to be a vocation that I’m interested in making my own? Or, can it just be something I’d like to do for a couple hours, just to see what it’s like. Ideally, I’d like to take a week or so and try out each of these

Warning – The list below completely underlines what a strange girl I am. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Also, these aren’t so much jobs I’d like for a career, they’re just jobs I’d like to try out for an hour or two.

• Assembling the tiny meals for airline passengers
• Processing Netflix Returns
• Sorting Mail
• Doing the shopping for online orders grocery stores
• The person who makes the announcements on the PA at Nordstrom, but, I don’t want to answer the phones, I only want to talk over the PA.
• The person who gets to mix the paint at the hardware store

So, can any of you hook me up with one of the above jobs for a day? Pretty please? If you can’t, don’t worry, I suppose I’ll get over it. Just tell me, if you could go on a vocation vacation, what would you pick?

I’ve been spending a good chunk of time riding to and fro on the public transport. And, you know I have social anxiety about speaking to people I don’t know, so I turn my iPod up as high as it will go to drown out anyone who insists on speaking to a person who CLEARLY is listening to music. I’m sure it makes me look like a bitch, but it keeps me from hyperventilating. So, it must be done.

Sometimes, a song will come on shuffle that completely brings me back to a certain time or place, sometimes with fond memories. Sometimes with not so fond memories. But, I think my taste in music over the years is pretty damn entertaining. So, for you, I am documenting it. You can thank me later.

Childhood

• Gloria, by Laura Branigan (my mom had the record!)
• The Farmer in the Dell (so says my baby book!)
• Meet Me in Montana by Marie Osmond (it’s a good song and you know it!)

The Ugly Stage (Note: I had the worlds longest ugliest stage, I’d say from about 7-13)

• Electric Youth by Debbie Gibson (I also had the perfume, I meant business!)
• I Think We’re Alone Now by Tiffany (like you didn’t love this song)
• Forever Your Girl by Paula Abdul (my cousin Lisa and I had a dance that I will totally perform if I’ve had the right amount of wine)
• Hold On by Wilson Phillips (you know you wanted your hair to look JUST like Chynna Phillips’)
• Cover Girl by New Kids on the Block (I just LOVED listening to this song on my pink tape deck first think in the morning. I was a strange child.)

Jr. High (let’s all remember where I grew up for this portion of the exercise)

• Words by Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus (I downloaded this from iTunes and now want my 99 cents back.)
• He Thinks He’ll Keep Her by Mary Chapin Carpenter (according to this song, I should be delivering #3 at my age. Oops!)
• Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton (I fell deeply in love with Eric Clapton after seeing him on The Grammy’s, until I listened to one of my dad’s tapes of his and realizing that all his other music sucked. I’m guessing is target audience isn’t 12 year old girls from Canby?)

High School

• Set U Free by Planet Soul (My BFF Emily and I could not function without hearing this song at LEAST 14 times per day)
• Water Runs Dry by Boyz II Men (I went to this concert and was pretty sure that Juanya was singing to ME)
• Stay by Lisa Loeb (I sounded SO good singing this in my purple Chevrolet Cavalier)
• How Can I Help You by Patty Loveless (BFF Emily and I sounded SO good singing this in my bedroom, it was meant to be a duet, didn’t you know?)
• Creep by TLC (here’s where you should feel SO bad for Emily’s parents – they let us listen to the Crazy.Sexy.Cool CD all the way from Portland to Tacoma. And, we sang along. I owe them an apology for that.)
• I’m Sensitive by Jewel (we learned about the Cynics in Western Civ and the song brought on a WHOLE new meaning for me. HA!)
• Anything ever put on an MTV Party to Go CD (oh dear, I was a sad, sad teenager)

Freshman Year at University of Oregon

Note: This is when I became very melancholy. I don’t know how anybody put up with me. I preferred to listen to really mellow music, because if I listened to anything else, that might have put me in a better mood. Also, I had a boyfriend on a mission all the way in New York, and I liked to listen to music that made me think of how beautiful and deep our relationship was (HA!). Also, this was the era of the sleeping tape (right, Krissy?!) in which I’d spend many an hour making the perfect mix of music to fall asleep to.

• My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion (how many times did YOU see Titanic? I saw it more than once, I know, but can’t remember how many actual times P.S. My brother SOBBED during it. I like to bring that up on occasion).
• The Promise by Tracy Chapman (perfect for when your boyfriend is on his LDS mission)
• Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden (saw them in concert with my MOM!)
• Falling in Love by Lisa Loeb (saw her in concert with my MOM!)
• Anything that would make me cry

The Clubbing Years

These are the years when we’d go out BOTH Friday and Saturday nights. Mainly to The Ram in Lake Oswego. Nights were spent dancing with random boys and drinking Raspberry Iced Teas (um, with much alcohol) served in carafes. Also, I wore extremely expensive clothing during the clubbing years. Like $80 for a top. That covered nothing. I’d like to have that body back, thank you.

• Blue by Eiffel 65 (MAKE IT STOP)
• Crazy by Britney Spears (I remember dancing away to this song after many a Duck Fart on Hollie’s and my 21st Birthday)
• Jumpin Jumpin by Destiny’s Child
• Wanna Be a Baller by Lil’ Troy (oh my freaking heck, many a memory in a bikini floating down the Willamette River on a boat listening to this song. I want those abs back. But, I’ll keep the boobs I have now, thanks)
• Also, anything that I could shake my non-existent ass to.

From The Clubbing Years on? I’ve been listening to GOOD music. My list?

• Pink Martini
• Lisa Loeb
• Emiliana Torrini
• Death Cab for Cutie
• Howie Day
• The Postal Service
• Morrissey (okay, again with the melancholy)
• and, maybe a little tiny bit of Britney

What’s the most embarrassing in the soundtrack of your youth? I think I’ll send a Rhiannon Mix CD to the MOST embarrassing song.

Any time my grandma saw me in my uniform, she’d chase me around with her camera. I found this picture recently while going through her things.

When I was 16, I got my first “real” job. I wanted a car, and to have a car my completely unreasonable mother and step-father insisted that I pay my own car insurance. I’m kidding about the completely unreasonable, they were only partially unreasonable and it was about the amount of car insurance I had to pay (um, all of mine and also a portion of theirs, makes no sense). Anyway, it was somehow decided that I would apply at Safeway. I was horrified when they actually hired me as a Courtesy Clerk, I mean I had NO experience bagging groceries. Also, I was constantly I nicking my mom’s heels with the cart while I pushed when she was shopping.

One Saturday morning, my mom deposited me at “Courtesy Clerk School” where I learned never to bag butter with onions. Or, butter with cleaning products. Or, how about you just put the butter in it’s own damn bag. Again, I was horrified when I graduated from “Courtesy Clerk School” and was authorized to go work. In an actual store.

On my first day, as my dad dropped me off at work, I burst into tears, telling him, “Daddy, I don’t want to go to work.” Shut up, you would have cried too, had you known you were going to have to count rancid beer bottles. He looked right at me and said, “Rhiannon, you’re going to be feeling this way for the rest of your life.”

And, so I went in. And, I worked. I worked there for two and a half years. In that first summer I worked there, not only was I hit by an old woman’s boat of a car (bruises only), I also got heat exhaustion from carrying out groceries in the 103 degree weather. But, I made friends. And, the most annoying, I learned.

When I turned 18, I was promoted. To checker! One of my first days checking was right before Christmas. I am pretty sure I accidentally gave away several Christmas Dinners from the Deli. Oops. I prided myself in my ability to know the most obscure produce codes (Italian Parsley! Bok Choy!) I was obsessive compulsive about the way my money was arranged in my cash drawer and the way my coupons were stacked in my coupon envelope. I cringed when a child handed me a sweaty dollar bill all wadded up from their hand. I was a little sad when a family came in and paid with food stamps, and a lot angry when someone would come and try to purchase cigarettes with food stamps.

Soon, it was time for me to go off to college, and say good bye to Safeway. I stopped by to say hello when I was home from Eugene for the weekend. After a while, most of the people I knew stopped working there. And, I stopped dropping in to say hello. But, I have fond memories of my time spent at Safeway. Especially the produce codes. Sometimes, it takes all my willpower not to shout them out when I’m being rung up at the store.

I’m curious – what was your first job? Do you have fond memories of it, or just the opposite?

Part 1 can be found here

Rejected Titles:

• Okay, now you’re really in big trouble mister!
• We showered, right?

When we last visited with Rhiannon and Ashleigh, they had just been ditched by Josh, who clearly had more important people to hang out with. One of which we’ll call Shorts. There is nothing notable about Shorts, except, well, she was wearing shortswith hose. This is a style the girls were not familiar with. Anyway, Josh promised our girls that he would still be joining him later. Let’s point out that later is really a subjective term.

(Are you sick of the third person? Cause I am, and unless we want this one night out to span 14 posts, I’m just going to switch, okay?)

Ash and I headed to Echo to enjoy what we both agree is Portland’s Best Hamburger. It was really a damn good thing that Josh didn’t come with us because there was just no room for him, and besides I think the bartender was flirting with us, and Josh probably would have ruined that. During dinner, my long lost friend Erica texted, saying that Spanish Coffees had been consumed. Neither Ashleigh nor I had seen Erica in ages, so we invited her along to our next stop.

Shortly after I inhaled Portland’s Best Burger, and Ashleigh daintily only ate half of hers we descended up on the Doug Fir to hear the fantastic Portland Band, The Dimes play. Erica had gotten back to us to say that her and her beau Josh (different Josh, so we’ll call him J2) would be joining us.

Hurray! We thought. This night is going to be SO FUN! We found our way downstairs and listened a bit to a band for very old people. We knew this band was for very old people for two reasons. 1) There were very old people in the band and 2) there were very old people watching the band. Also, once the very old people band stopped playing? All the very old people left.

Erica and J2 texted to let me know that they were upstairs. Yay! After going up to retrieve them, the cover was paid and the two lovebirds came downstairs. They chatted for a few minutes with us and then went off to the bar to get drinks. Little did we know, this was the LAST we’d see of them.

After the band had been playing, oh, forever. I went off to look for Erica and J2. They were NOWHERE to be found. A text message revealed that they were across the street eating! DITCHED! For the second time that evening! And! We saved seats for them! Right next to a couple who were no doubt going to have sex any minute (good thing rooms are half price at The Jupiter after midnight, cause they were gonna need one!).

Also, little did we know that this was NOT THE LAST OF THE DITCHING that would be going on. Josh later arrived, oh 4 hours after we last saw him only to spend 3 minutes with us and then DITCH us.

And, that was the end of the evening. We rode home muttering the following: WTF?, asshat, shorts!, burger, WTF?

Some notes:

• We had a great time.
• The music was AWESOME
• Rumor had it that members of BOTH The Decemberists and Spoon were in attendance.

Some questions:

• Why does nobody want to hang out with Ashleigh and I?
• Are we not cute enough?
• Would it be weird for me to date a 25 year old? (HA!)
• What would be an appropriate apology gift from our ditching friends?
• And, why would you pay $10 to get in some place to leave 16 seconds later

And, that my friends, is how my horrendous streak of staying in on the weekends was broken. Thank Ash for not taking “no” for an answer.

Rejected Titles:

• White Zinfandel and the People Who Drink It
• You’re in Big Trouble, Mister
• Wherein I need to be taught how to recognize when someone is flirting with me

Once upon a time, there was a girl. Let’s call her, Rhiannon. Rhiannon hadn’t left the house for a very long time, except for boring things like work and visiting her friendly crazy doctor. Rhiannon’s friend, let’s call her Ashleigh found this to be very unacceptable and ordered asked nicely that Rhiannon get on the MAX and ride into Downtown. Rhiannon tried to get out of it, claiming sickness does what she is told, so she met Ashleigh downtown.

First, Rhiannon and Ashleigh went to meet a friend, let’s call him Josh at a monthly networking event he organizes. Here is where Ashleigh and Rhiannon got confused. You see, they thought that Josh had invited them to his networking event because he enjoyed their company. But, really, they were not to be guests at the networking event. They were put right to work! Now, luckily, our girls have poured oh, a glass or two of Pinot in the past, so they were up for the challenge. They even learned how to use The Rabbit (shut up sickos, not that one). While pouring wine, Rhiannon threatened to flick Josh several times while Ashleigh called him an asshat repeatedly (you see, Ashleigh’s been spending too much time with dudes, as she puts it, so she now talks like one, I’ll cure her of this, just you watch).

Meanwhile, two friends from Gresham repeatedly came over to pour themselves some White Zinfandel. Rhiannon and Ashleigh had never seen White Zin drinkers outside their normal habitiat, so they were both intrigued and horrified at the same time. You see, they had brought their own MAGNUM of White Zin to the networking event. The girls weren’t even sure how they were able to smuggle such horrible wine into the Pearl District to begin with. But, here is where it gets really scary. The female member of the White Zin duo tried to create a love connection with the male member of the White Zin duo. Rhiannon and Ashleigh strategized. Would they pretend to be lesbians? Would they pretend yet again that they both date Josh. WHAT WOULD THEY DO?

Luckily, there was no need to worry. Soon after, the White Zin duo asked for a wine cork and a bag because they were leaving and they were taking their White Zin with them. Seriously.

Once the networking event was over, Rhiannon wept a bit because she only was able to eat three deviled eggs, one roasted beet, and one chicken skewer. Still, the girls were eager to spend some time with Josh, hoping he would shower them with appreciation for helping to make his event a huge success. Instead, Josh insisted that our girls accompany him back to his office to drop off wine glasses, only to ditch them on the way to dinner.

To be continued, because when you go out for the first time in months, it takes a while to tell the story.

UPDATED TO ADD: Shortly after publishing this post Josh called to tell me that I am the most beautiful girl in all of Portland and that he’s so happy that I was able to come to his shindig and pour wine flawlessly. Or, something like that. Sometimes, I embellish.

Ashleigh’s account of Friday night events can be found here.