• I have voice crushes. My original voice crush was Ira Glass. Now, I have a voice crush on Peter Sagal and Kai Rysdall. (The Ira voice crush remains)
• I want to elope. I’m so sick of wedding input from random people. My wedding budget is none of your business. If you’re worried that my wedding budget is preventing me from buying a house, worry about something else, because IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
• We have a potluck at work today and I want to call in sick. Unless I know you very well and I know your general kitchen cleanliness well, I don’t want to eat something you made in your kitchen. Sorry.
• You can look at my ring, but you may not hold it, because I do not trust you. (Seriously, someone asked that I take my ring off so they could look at it, who does that?)
• I want children, but I have no desire to ever leave my career to care for them. People look at me like I’m crazy when I say this. I like what I do for a living and I’ve worked too hard to leave it all behind.
• I really, really hope that my upstairs neighbor gets evicted. He/She is inconsiderate and a terrible neighbor. Also, there is really no need to lift your feet up to knee level each time you take a step. Also, after a particularly loud stomping session in the kitchen, I heard something fall and break. I was very sad to learn that it was my tiny giraffe teaspoons from Anthropologie. Which apparently are no longer on the Anthropologie website which probably means they don’t have them anymore, which means I’ll never replace them. You owe me, upstairs neighbor.
• It’s October and I’m still running my air-conditioning most days. Sometimes I wonder if there is residual Lupron in my body.
• I secretly hope we have another winter snow storm again. Not leaving the house for a week sounds delightful right about now. (can you tell I’m a little burnt out?)
• So, spill it. What do you want to confess?

• I’m fairly certain that for the past 4 days I’ve been suffering from a little something the world likes to call H1N1.
• Here’s something that’s REALLY stupid: if you’re an otherwise healthy adult, you’re not supposed to go to the doctor unless you have “complications,” so if you’re an an otherwise healthy adult you can count on suffering through this for four (and counting) days. Your doctors office might pretend that they can help you, but mainly they’ll just make you wait 5 hours for a phone call back and when you finally get sick of waiting and call back, they’ll just tell you, “Lots of fluids!”
• So, that’s what I’ve been doing.
• I’ve felt too sick to read your blogs (sorry) and even too sick to look at wedding stuff online.
• I had planned to go into the office today, but just now I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and the walk back to my bedroom had rendered me exhausted. Thank goodness for a boss who has already given me permission to work from home. (what a difference a year makes, my boss of last year would have demanded to know what I did to myself to get so sick)
• Anyway, enough about that, except you need to know that I’ve lost my final 4 pounds and have reached my goal weight which means that my dear boyfriend will be purchasing me whatever pair of jeans I want. What should I get!?!
• Okay, now to the MOST IMPORTANT NEWS: We’ve set a wedding date and we have a venue.
• We’ll be getting married August 28, 2010 at The Gerding Theatre at the Armory, which is really the most perfect wedding venue in all of Portland.
• Now, our next task is getting save the dates out and choosing a caterer!
• And, with that, I’m going to rest a bit before I begin my work from home day.
• I’ll be laying around watching Lifetime movies this weekend. Let me live vicariously though you and tell me what you’re doing.

• I can’t decide whether this week went by super quickly or super slowly. I keep changing my mind.
• I’ve had tiny hints of a cold all week long, each morning waking up with a scratchier throat than the day before. Then, last night right before bed, I developed the worst stomachache ever. It’s still here.
• I’m trying to ignore Dr. Google’s offer for a house call, but it’s SO HARD. (feel free to ask Dr. Google what stomach pain around the belly button lasting for 12 hours means for me).
• Today we’ll be looking at 3 potential wedding venues. One of them is definitely my favorite and if they can hold the capacity we need, then I’m pretty sure we’ll book it. But, I’m not sharing the location until it’s booked. So, all the other Portland Brides who are trying to steal my location ideas can just go elsewhere. (Flugel Horn, maybe?)
• This week was my sweet fiance’s birthday. Also, it was his twin brother’s birthday. Funny how that works out. Anyway, I thought I was being the BEST FIANCEE ever by bringing him cupcakes from Saint Cupcake which is a darling little cupcake shop here in Portland. But, mistake 1: I brought him a Fat Elvis Cupcake which is banana and chocolate. He apparently doesn’t like banana (yet he eats banana bread?) Mistake 2: the cupcakes were all dry (NOT MY FAULT). Mistake 3: I did not get a cupcake for myself. Actually, if they were dry, maybe it wasn’t a mistake.
• Anyway, I totally redeemed myself with an awesome birthday dinner for both boys at Tabla (which is my very favorite Portland restaurant at the moment). If you come to visit me, we’ll go there.
• This weekend, we’ll extend the boy’s birthday celebration in wine country with wine and awesome Spanish food. (Hello little crab stuffed peppers! I am going to eat you!)
• If you’ve not consulted Dr. Google yet about my tummy ache, can I suggest that you do so now? SO HURTY AND OWIE.
• If I survive these stomach pains, I’m looking forward to having Kali and Kerri over on Tuesday night for our very popular and very fun Girls’ Bad TV Night. Quite honestly, we never end up watching much tv because there is too much talking and eating, but we still have a great time and we TRY to watch at least something on television that is really trashy.
• Oh, so I went to Nordstrom Rack this week with strict orders for myself to buy myself a pair of brown flats and BROWN FLATS ONLY. But, instead, I came home with these. I really should return them and get BROWN FLATS because they really don’t fit perfectly, but look at how fricking cute they are!
• Okay. I think that’s all. What are YOU doing this weekend? Also, should I keep the shoes even if they’re a smidge too small?

I’m so excited to bring you the Very! First! Burger Review in the Girls’ Guide to the Perfect Portland Burger. This is from my dearie, Ashleigh. I could tell you how much I love Ashleigh for hours, and hours…but I think you really want to hear about the burger. Want to review a burger? Let me know!

When what you want is a memory of something old-fashioned (meaning the first time you ate one in high school), full of flavor, and with a side of crispy-soft fries, you’ll head over to Christopher’s Gourmet Grill in NE Portland.

The outside of the building is deceiving. It’s an unadorned small structure that is made out of silver sheeting, with a sandwich board out front, a blinking “OPEN” sign in a front window, and a vinyl sign on the side of the building proclaiming “Seafood.” However, once you step in, your ideas of what constitutes a good girl burger will forever change. There are little candles on all the tables, and new blue glass lights overhead. Keith Sweat and Boyz II Men stream out of the speakers and there is light chatter all around. It’s homey.

To start this review, and clear up all confusion, this is not a bistro burger. There are no thinly-shaved onion crispies, no truffles, no expensive cheese, no 10-seed buns, and thankfully, no ½ pound of meat. This is the original cheeseburger with “girl friendly” toppings. In my opinion, the best part of this burger is the slimmer patty. The rest of the cheeseburger is standard, but fabulous. Freshly shredded lettuce, big juicy, sliced tomatoes, chopped white onion, a handful of pickle chips and a homemade secret sauce that mimics Thousand Island dressing, but with some spicy garlic that enhances the entire arrangement. Plus, the crowning jewel, a thin slice of cheddar cheese (they also have American if you’re going for the complete throwback). Full of flavor, yet simple. The burger is garnished with steak fries, or follow my lead, and request crispy crinkle fries. Total mouth love.

Christopher’s also offers seafood baskets, Cajun chicken burgers, BBQ, plenty of sides, sweet potato pie, and the big-bad-daddy burger of all time, The Man-Up Burger. The Man-Up Burger contains everything on the basic burger plus bacon, more cheese, an egg and a Louisiana hot link (definitely, not my idea of a good “girl” burger). The Man-Up Burger makes my heart choke thinking about it, but the skinny guy in line ordered one and he said he orders one once a month just to keep his heart happy.

Since my first trip to Christopher’s Gourmet Grill, I’ve visited a few times, but only for take-out. While the inside is clean, and there is always a good variety of people, I prefer to enjoy my Christopher’s Cheeseburgers in the comfort of my own home. And honestly, I can walk there and walk back home in about 15 minutes, which gives me a tidy conscious once I bite into my burger wonderland.

Christopher’s Gourmet Grill

3962 NE Martin Luther King Blvd

Portland, OR 97212

One really fun thing about being engaged is that everyone is really, genuinely happy for you. Seeing a girlfriend and having her grab my left hand and then jump up and down with me or having the bartender at your local wine bar yell, “Hey! Congrats Guys!” is fantastic and has not gotten old (yet). And, I’m loving it. But, one thing that I never, ever expected is that even some of your very best friends and family members won’t acknowledge a damn thing. And, if there’s anything I hate, it’s being ignored. I hate being ignored so much that as a child, my mother would use ignoring me as a child rearing technique. And, it worked.

So, here’s the deal. I should not feel guilty because I’m engaged. The boy and I are in love. We’ve been dating over a year and we’ve been discussing this for ages. But, I do feel guilty. I feel like I’ve hurt this friend’s feelings, I feel like this friend is mad at me and I feel like I’m going to be putting this friend in an uncomfortable situation when I potentially ask this friend to be in my bridal party.

I know I had my share of mini-meltdowns a while back when I felt that I was the only Not Engaged Girl in the world. But, I acknowledged the engagements, weddings, parties, etc. of my girlfriends and I hope they never felt like I was being a big fat baby. Even though I was throwing a giant temper tantrum on the inside.

My family members, I’m not so worried about. Their social skills are not fully developed, and possibly never will be. But, I’m really torn about what to do about my friend. Do I call her and say, “I’ve noticed that you’ve not responded to any of my texts or emails about my engagement…” Or, do I call her and not mention it, hoping she will? Or, do I just call her and ask her to be in my damn wedding already even though she’s totally hurting my feelings?

Internet, your advice is appreciated.