I’ve had a hunch about this for quite some time, but I’ve spent some time gathering facts and now I’m quite positive that I’m right.

Here goes: J.Crew’s Wedding Coordinator, “ASHLEY,” does not in fact exist.

FACT 1: When I emailed “ASHLEY” to inquire about what dresses they might have at the J.Crew Michigan Avenue store, I received a response from not “ASHLEY” but, instead, a nice gal named Lauren.

(Aside: I find it hilarious that when I just searched for J.Crew in Gmail for the email in question, it said, “1-20 of hundreds”)

FACT 2: When I ordered my wedding dress this past week, I received the following email from “ASHLEY” at 9:43 p.m. Pacific Time:

My name is Ashley.  I am excited that you have chosen to order from our weddings and parties collection.  We have an entire team of dedicated specialists available to assist with all your special occasions needs.

Should you require further assistance with your order, we invite you to contact any one of our dedicated specialists for assistance.  We can be reached at 1-800-205-3877.

Best,

Ashley

FACT 3: I emailed “ASHLEY” last week to inquire about fabric swatches for my bridesmaids dresses. Side note: I’m allowing my bridesmaids to select their own dresses so long as they are black, matte, free of any lace or beading and tea length, but maybe I already told you this. Anyway, I’d like to have a swatch of fabric to show them so that they select accordingly.

Yet again, I receive a response from the wonderful Lauren. I’m really starting to like this Lauren girl and I think it’s sad that Ashley is stealing all of her thunder when she is clearly the one doing all the work. The one email I did receive from “ASHLEY” was clearly transactional and probably written by Lauren.

I’m not giving up on this until I have some real proof. Tell me, what should I ask “ASHLEY” next?

*Yes, this really is all I can come up with right now. The winter sads have set in and quite frankly, I’d rather be in bed watching Style Network.