Rhi in Pink » Blog Archive » In which I do something I said I’d never do

In which I do something I said I’d never do

May 28, 2008 | Filed in: bringin' single back

We’ve engaged in some small talk here at Rhi in Pink over the past couple weeks over this whole online dating thing. I’ve been caught saying several times, “Well, that might work for so and so, but it’s just not for me.” And, last year, I even signed up for eHarmony for 30 minutes but became too panicky about dating someone other than my beloved Hugh (it was only a couple months after our breakup) that I threw up, then called and canceled my membership. (Side note: Anyone who knows me will tell you that if i am nervous, or upset, I vomit, but I DO NOT have an eating disorder)

So, Thursday night I was having dinner with some of my dear girlfriends and watching So You Think You Can Dance? (and, by the way, yes I do) and during the commercial break, that old gentleman from eHarmony, Dr. Whatshisnose let us know that it was free communication weekend. Hmmm. The wheels in my head began to turn.

And, I did it. I signed up. Now, here is the deal with free communication weekend. You don’t get to see photos. I got tons of matches and weeded through them, starting communication with a few. I thought maybe the no picture deal would be a good thing for me, so I could first get to know them intellectually, and then later see their pictures.

So, some notes:

I am sorry, but I cannot date anyone shorter than me. They can be the same height, but not shorter. I am a TALL GIRL. 5′11″ if you’re curious. So, a relationship with a guy who is 5′5″ probably isn’t going to work out.
I will not date anyone with children. I know there are probably some great guys out there who have children, but I’ve done this in the past and it’s almost harder to stop seeing the child after a break up. Also when I finally settle down, and perhaps start a family with someone, I’d like us to be going through the becoming parents thing for the first time together. Make sense?
There should be a place to indicate the volume in which you speak, and just conduct yourself overall. I am LOUD. I talk loud, I laugh loud. My entire family is this way. This drives certain people with whom I may have dated for two years, and broken up with recently CRAZY.
One thing that seems to be working is that I am being matched with guys who are at the same place in their careers that I am. I am a professional (stop laughing) and I expect this of my future mate.
One guy put in profile that he wishes more people would notice that he’s really, really ridiculously good looking. And? I may have proposed to him. Zoolander lines get me every time.

So, I paid for my membership, and am pleasantly surprised that all the guys I’ve been communicating with are quite cute, and maybe even totally my type. I’m going to do this at least for a month – I think I owe it to myself. Clearly, my previous methods of meeting guys are not working out (at work, or at a bar) so, I think I’ll give those a rest.

Unless any of you have a hot brother, I’m sticking with this.

22 Comments so far
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I’ve been on eHarmony for a couple of weeks..the pickin’s are VERY slim around here. I’m getting matches as far away as Virginia (I live in Canada, and I’ve indicated I’m not willing to relocate for dating). So, i don’t know what it’s deal is.

The thing that scares me about the eHarm thing is the lack of pictures. I don’t claim to be gorgeous, but, I am picky. Like, Chandler from Friends picky. I cannot date someone I don’t find attractive. I know, it’s petty.

I have done most of my online dating adventures through plenty of fish, though, because it is a free site, there tends to be a lot of jackasses on there too.

I dunno, I don’t even know if I’m really at a point to date seriously. I just want to go out for a nice dinner, and dress up pretty, dammit.

I have that same! Zoolander line in my about page, and have since I wrote it far too many years ago, amen.

I love that you love that line. And that someone used it on their eHarmony profile.

Also: I’m excited! for you. Meeting online isn’t as creepy as I think everyone thought it used to be, or maybe how non-onliners think it SHOULD be. But then again, I’m completely biased. (Good luck!)

I hate eHarmony based on your first bullet alone. They don’t give you the option to weed out people based on height. When I did it, it was ALL short people. And I’m not talking about 5-10, I’m talking 5-4, 5-5. I’m almost 6 feet tall, that is TOO short.

I will stick to dating my DVR. It always knows what I like. :)

Good luck! I hope it turns out better for you than me!

O.K. I’ll admit I’m old and haven’t been on a date in almost 20 years. I really don’t count when my husband and I go out to dinner as a “date” even if we are sans children.

Anyway, here’s my ass-vice. Take it for what it is.

There are a lot of nice short men out there. Admittedly I married a man over six feet tall. But really. There are nice short guys.

I couldn’t remember how old you are but you reach a point in life where if the man you are dating hasn’t been married before chances are there is something seriously wrong with him. Being married often leads to children. If you are in your early to mid-twenties I’d say you can probably live with the “no kids” rule but once you hit your thirties, that one gets harder to live with.

I met my husband in an unconventional way. I think E-harmony and those other on-line dating services are so neat. I would SO do it if I were single. And twenty years younger.

I’m excited to hear how this goes. I think if I were single, this is something I might try.

ok, you are so cute! (I found you from twitter somehow, hope it’s okay that I’m a lurker… but I am not weird I promise) – I love the way you write and there is no doubt in my mind you will meet your guy.

Good luck with this. Hopefully something comes out of it. eHarmony always looks interesting. I don’t think meeting people online seen as a weird thing like it was a few years ago. I know that is what I would do if I was ever single.

Put something in there that says you won’t date a smoker. Unless you like smokers?

I don’t blame you for not wanting to date someone shorter. I have dated really tall guys and they always elbowed me in the eye by accident. Not fun!! :)

Can’t wait to hear about your dating adventures!!

As a short woman, I guess I have more options? So many of my friends who are taller have that same issue with short guys wanting to date them. I think it’s great if those guys have that much confidence to hit on a tall lady but still. . .it’s rare if it will actually work on the girl.

Good luck! I met a really nice guy on craigslist of all places. We broke up – but it wasn’t messy or anything and we would probably still be friends if he lived in the area. If nothing else, a person can always use more friends. :)

Before blogging? I would have thought online dating was a little odd.

Seven weeks today, I am boarding a flight to SF to meet hundreds of people I consider friends. And we’ve only met online.

GO YOU!

Hey Rhi! I actually dated a few guys from eHarmony last summer. I was pleasantly surprised at what a good group of nice and professional guys were out there … though many of them seemed to work at Intel? I don’t know if that says more about me or them. My only word of caution is this: If ALL of a guy’s photos show him smiling with his mouth closed, BEWARE of his teeth. I made that mistake. Twice. Good luck and have fun!

You are hilarious!!!! You should try match.com. Better selection. Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll find some smokin hot boys at wings and bowling next week. I think we’d probably intimidate them at the Girl’s Night Out on the 5th. So many fabulous women at one table at Lucca would be too much for any boy to handle.

I met my husband on AOL and we have been married for 9 years. Back then it was considered crazy, now I think it is quite common. I say go for it!

I am new to your blog and have to say I love it.

Hi – I have never commented before -I came over from Isabel. Its funny b/c I am also tall – around 5 10 and I think we sorta look alike (Is that weird to say) I only know from your pic that pops up when you comment on Hola Isabel…ANYWAY, point to this ramble is that my Sister in law met her fiancee on eHarmony. They are getting married on Nov 1st! So go for it!

Have fun with it! :D

I seriously love reading about this. I hope you find your match! ;)

I wish I had a brother for you, but mine is going bald and has fathered at least three (possible four) children (and he’s only 26 – who knows how many baby mamas he’ll end up with).

Good luck! I hope it goes well. Zoolander guy sounds like a keeper to me!

Featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle.

http://tinyurl.com/6rc8fx

Good luck! I met my husband online…but we were both rejected by eHarmony.

New to your blog. Found you through GoodMomBadMom. Funny one of our Where’s My Damn Answer? girls is also trying online dating.

I met my hubby online. He first tried EHarmony and they told him there wasn’t anyone that fit his list of wants on there – haha. He went to Match.com where I found him – the rest is history. We’ve been married for 4 years (together 5). I found it was a really easy way for me to weed out the freak-a-deaks.

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