On Saturday, I stayed the night at the boy’s house for the first time. Upon my arrival, he told me, “I bought you special soap.” I don’t think I acknowledged him when he said that, but I felt a pang in my heart and a butterfly in my tummy.
You might ask, what’s the big deal with soap?
Soap is a huge, huge deal. I’ve mentioned here before that I didn’t have the best childhood in the world. And, I’m sure you won’t be shocked to hear that I had a pretty sassy mouth as a little girl. And, once my mother’s husband decided that he’d had enough of my sassiness.
And, so he shoved a brand new, large bar of Dial Soap in my tiny, eight year-old mouth and left it there. For an hour. When it was removed, my lips were dry and the sides of my mouth were bleeding. My tongue had blisters on it. I could not eat. I could barely speak.
I’m not exactly sure what happened after that. But, I remember being at my grandparent’s house for quite some time after that. They took me to the emergency room, and for days after, I remember my Grandma dissolving the medications the doctors gave me to heal my mouth in a dish of applesauce or chocolate pudding.
Last weekend, as the boy and I sat on the lovely balcony of our hotel room at the beach, I shared this story with him – to perhaps give him some insight as to why I am the way I am – why I don’t like being hugged, why I’d prefer most people don’t touch me.
As a side note, I told him that I will not buy Dial Soap. I will not use Dial Soap. Dial Soap makes me cringe. Dial Soap makes me feel angry that someone that was supposed to take care of me hurt me.
And, he remembered. And, he bought me my own soap to use at his house. For that I am thankful. And, I need to tell him that.
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How very sweet and thoughtful of him and how horrid of your mother’s husband. He should have been shot. not your man, btw.
By gorillabuns on 08.25.08 11:25 am | Permalink
Thankfully in my family the “wash your mouth out with soup” warning was just that, and I only tasted the bar for thirty seconds and mostly because I was curious. It was shortly thereafter that my grandmother laughed at me.
This story is so sad, and yet so happy! too and I’m so glad you have found someone so awesome and thoughtful in your boy. (I have to remember to not use his name here; habits! hard to break!)
I also feel like I should apologize for always hugging you. I come from a long line of huggers, but I forget that not everyone loves being hugged as much as I do.
By Kerri Anne on 08.25.08 11:26 am | Permalink
Same as Kerri – we only had small interactions with soap, and I too had a foul mouth (still do).
But onto happier now times – I think the true way to tell if someone is a good person is how thoughtful they are. And the soap thing is VERY thoughtful.
By anne on 08.25.08 11:30 am | Permalink
That is very sweet and kind of him to remember about the soap. People sometimes have no idea why others act the way they do… it really opens ones eyes to know the reasons.
By Cereal Dieter on 08.25.08 11:32 am | Permalink
poor Rhi. What a horrible man. But I am so glad you have a new wonderful man in your life now.
By Carrisa on 08.25.08 11:45 am | Permalink
He is a special guy to have remembered AND gone to buy the soap. I am impressed!
By skinny fat chick on 08.25.08 11:57 am | Permalink
My mom had that same soap experience during childhood. So sorry you had to endure that as well, but so glad you have someone understanding with you now.
By slynnro on 08.25.08 12:16 pm | Permalink
Yay for thoughtfulness!
I am so very sorry that happened to you as a kid, Rhi. That is horrible.
P.S. Thanks for letting me hug you.
By sizzle on 08.25.08 1:21 pm | Permalink
Like I said in my email, I’d like to do grave, bodily harm to your Mom’s ex-husband. However, I feel so empowered and relieved that you have “Super Boy” now, and he’s a catch … just like you! xoxoxo Yay for happy endings!
By Ash on 08.25.08 1:29 pm | Permalink
What a lovely, loving gesture. This guy is one of the good ones, I can tell. :-) Just the fact that he hasn’t run screaming to the hills with all your lady-parts trouble recently tells me that! The soap only confirms it.
By bethany actually on 08.25.08 2:14 pm | Permalink
That made me so sad…some people are just horrible. I am so happy for you that you’ve found such a thoughtful, sweet man. Big cyber (((hugs))) if you’ll allow. :-)
By Kathy McC on 08.25.08 2:40 pm | Permalink
Oh, sweet Rhi. I cannot imagine what you have endured.
So thankful that God sent you a sweet soul to take care of you.
By Angella on 08.25.08 3:05 pm | Permalink
That story makes me so sad. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Yay for special soap, though!
By Britt on 08.25.08 3:38 pm | Permalink
That got me all misty eyed at the sweetness and the sadness. I’m glad your grandparents were able to be there for you. I’m also glad your new fellow is treating you so good. :)
You’re wonderful Rhi!
By SparklieSunShine on 08.26.08 8:42 am | Permalink
So awful to read about your soap experience!
It is so great that the boy really listens to you – and that he went out of the way to get the special soap for you to use there. It’s so nice to know that someone not only sees the real you – but also treats you the way you deserve to be treated. :)
By Juli on 08.26.08 8:47 am | Permalink
Sounds like he’s a keeper!
And there is a special place in hell for your mother’s husband, rest assured.
By Kate on 08.26.08 9:05 am | Permalink
What a horrible horrible man (mother’s husband). Ugh! Makes me want to kick him in the balls, repeatedly. But oh what a wonderful sweet thoughtful boy you have, he’s def. a keeper!
By Sitcomgirl on 08.26.08 10:24 am | Permalink
That is really touching (of him)…and at the same time, traumatizing to hear about a child being treated that way! Have you read A Glass Castle? It kind of reminded me of the kids in that book.
By Camels & Chocolate on 08.26.08 3:20 pm | Permalink
what a sweetheart! sniffle sniffle
By mamikaze on 08.26.08 9:35 pm | Permalink
I am so sorry that happened to you and other, probably worse stuff. I sat with my head in my hands for a while after reading your post thinking about all the kids who are out there experiencing abuse and are powerless. I am glad you had grandparents who could look after you. Even glader that you’ve met a guy who cares enough to buy you special soap.
By lynne on 08.27.08 8:33 am | Permalink
I am so happy you found The Boy. He seems awesome.
By Nic on 08.27.08 8:58 am | Permalink
Please tell the boy that the interweb approves.
By Isabel on 08.27.08 1:20 pm | Permalink
(Also, I can’t remember if we hugged when we met. Do you? I’m sort of against hugs also. So I would have understood…)
By Isabel on 08.27.08 1:22 pm | Permalink
So glad this boy was so considerate. I understand how such a small, sweet gesture can be life changing.
By Christine on 09.01.08 6:50 pm | Permalink
First, I’m so sorry that that happened to you as a kid. That is really horrendous.
Second, how sweet of the boy! I can’t wait to meet him!
By Kristabella on 09.10.08 10:23 am | Permalink
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